navus

Stranded, my friends.

2007-03-14T20:19:59Z

Bloomington is much more peaceful with no students here. I feel a bit stranded though, as in, I don't know what to do. I've been getting a lot of my huge painting done, and it isn't due until the end of the year. I still have my Hindi midterm to study for, and my paper for Poetry to write. I'm holding out for those though. I really miss everyone. I'm in serious need for the old group of friends to get together to do something.

Which Mark Ryden Painting Are You?

You are "Uncle Black"
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I am Grateful Grapefruit.

2007-02-22T04:54:31Z

My favorite green shoes--the slip-ons--smell like dog shit. I don't think I stepped in dog shit, rather some sludge on the street. I got my hair cut today. It doesn't look all that different, but it's good for peace of mind. I am currently housing a burrito in my belly. It tasted good, but I think it is kicking.

Lame-o

2007-02-04T02:35:50Z

An hour or so ago I felt hungry. This was no run-of-the-mill craving. I was, like, crazy hungry. I have an aversion to eating in public alone, and Joel was in the darkroom working, so I went through my phone to see who might like to dine with me. I came up with three contenders: Arjun, Pat, and Ian. None of them answered. I ate alone. One would think that out of all the students at this, rather large, university I could find SOMEONE to eat with. I suppose I've become a recluse over the past few years. I've forgotten how to make friends. I am a Lame-o.

Fingers like icicles.

2006-11-29T14:26:02Z

The library is as cold as it has ever been. I am always burning up in here, regardless of the forces outdoors. Today, however, it is freezing. I sense that something is up. I awoke today at six thirty in the A.M. That's out of the ordinary for me. My breath is all smelly. I did brush my teeth though. Joel's show is this weekend. I am applying for BFA painting on Saturday. Hopefully that will go well. I hate Graphic Design. I cannot wait until the semester is through so that I will have to endure it no longer. That class always has me eyeballing the room for the closest sharp object, if you catch my drift. Yesterday it took more than three hours for the class to do a critique over ten, or so, thirty second presentations. I cannot bear it any longer.

I wish it were cold outside. I bought a new coat. It makes me look like a sailor. The coat has anchors on the buttons.

New is bad.

2006-11-16T19:46:26Z

Nothing is new, but I am okay nonetheless. I guess new is bad.

"Human beings will be happier—not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudice or flush Lake Erie but when they find ways to inhabit primitive communities again. That’s my utopia."

-Kurt Vonnegut

"Life is no way to treat an animal."

2006-10-13T18:56:35Z

The library is so massive. As I was walking up the stairs to the doorway I noticed this. The wind was blowing with such amazing force that I thought of what would happen if the building collapsed. People would be crushed by stone and books. They would suffocate in literature. Reading is bad.
It came to my attention recently that I am not the same person I once was. I don't know where the change lies, but I assure you I am different in many ways (or perhaps in one fundamental light).
I miss something, but I do not know what it is. I have that feeling in my belly that a child gets when he wants his mother. I am not yearning to be around my mother though. Not particularly, anyway.
This morning I hit the snooze button. The alarm went off and I hit it again. All-in-all I woke up forty-five minutes past the scheduled time. Sometimes I make myself laugh. I can be such a sleepy-head.
There are so many people on computers around me. I wonder what they are doing. I wish I had eyes enough to see all of the screens. I would know everyone's business. I am nosy like that.

I'm soaked to the bone.

2006-09-18T17:05:32Z

Outside, right now, it is raining a colossal rain. I am so wet because, for whatever reason, I opted to not bring an umbrella with me this morning. Woe is me.
I'm fairly certain I aced my exam in art history. I feel good about that. I studied my ass off, so I'd better be reaping in some benefits from all the labor. Joel helped me study, and he is a much better study-buddy than a model for painting class. Oh, dear lord. That boy cannot sit still. I love him nonetheless.
I will be going home next weekend for my grandfather's seventieth birthday party. Joel is coming, and I am sure there is to be plenty of uncomfortable conversation with grandparents about how I need to start settling down with "...a nice Catholic girl" and whatnot. My grandparents don't exactly have a knack for the painfully obvious.
Today, in the paper, I read an article about a fifteen-year-old boy getting arrested for shooting at a rival's feet (here in a Bloomington high school). What is this world coming to? I think that the worries of today's youth are so superficial. In a way I very much envy the youth my parents, grandparents, whatever. I feel that there was a little more substance to the social climate of those days. I could be wrong.
Fall is approaching. I'm so anxious.

Recent happenings and goings-on.

2006-08-22T21:36:58Z

Hello all. Logan here. I realize that I am becoming more and more negligent when it comes to this live journal of mine. The fact of the matter is that I am trying to enjoy the simpler things: a good nap, a good film, or even a dip in the pool. If you are torn up about me never posting, you should pick up a hobby. Needle point? Perhaps.

Anyhow, this past weekend marked the first meeting of Joel's parents and my own. I think things went well. The Thake clan was also kind enough to join our little luncheon. Ian is here at IU now. That is exciting.

Last night Ian, Joel, and I went out to see the sights in Bloomington. We also went to the theater to see Little Miss Sunshine which was darling. I want a little girl like the one in the film. After our cinematic experience, the three of us proceeded to walk about 'round the fountain where we saw Emily B.C., Elizabeth, and friend. They are all dears.

Everything is going swimmingly. People are nice.

DARKNESS, LIGHT, DARKNESS, 1989

"कुछ लोग जिसे ग़लती से जीवन स्तर की बढ़ती कीमतें समझ बैठते हैं, वह वास्तव में बढ़ चढ़ कर जीने की कीमत होती है।"
- डग लारसन
("What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high."
- Doug Larson)

gone_for_miles @ 2006-08-10T13:36:00

2006-08-10T17:36:46Z

I am here.

Schmedrick's disease (do you remember what that is from?)

2006-07-16T13:22:00Z

I would pe perfectly content with making the intro to this journal entry very dramatic by saying that I've been to Hell and back, but I have not. That past few weeks have been some of the most womderful I've come to know. I returned from my trip to Mexico the night before last. Mexico was amazing. Despite the insane amounts of mosquitoes flying about I had not a single complaint. Nuevo Laredo, despite having an insanely high rate of crime, is actually very beautiful in its own way. Joel's extended family was also amazing (despite a few very bratty, very spoiled cousins in Texas). Everyone is so alive and so humble. I wish I could go back. The beaches in Texas were also great. Joel and I spent a good two hours out on a pier watching dolphins splash about and listening to Spanish stations on our hand-crank radio. We also visited San Antonio which has a lovely riverwalk that I reccomend seeing.

On our trip Joel and I decided that we wish to spend our lives together. We are engaged, and despite the fact that same-sex marriage is not yet legal in the United States we have decided to remain engaged until it is made so. The two of us are also talking about going to Canada to tie the knot there. Anyone up for travelling along? We are planning on having a party to celebrate very soon.

My birthday is coming up. If anyone wants to go out with me for sushi let me know.

I have to work today for nearly tweleve hours. Oh bother.

Poop.

2006-05-04T13:42:41Z

Hindi exam on Friday? Good thing I checked my e-mail. And to think I was so pumped.

Oh well. At least I can actually study now. Tomorrow, however, will now be very hectic on account of me not having a place (dorm) to study in and a doctor's appointment. Shit.

All of my stuff is has been removed from the dorm now. I move out today at 4.

We went out to dinner with Arjun last night. He goes back to Oman on Sunday. He's been a good pal. Edgar spent alot of time talking about Mars and the origin of man. It was entertaining to say the least.

Work Saturday.
Work Sunday.
Work for the rest of my life.

A woman from Sweden spoke to me about Jesus at the bus stop this morning. I couldn't stop staring at her blotchy eyeliner. Also, I discovered that "Logan" is a very hard name for people from Sweden to pronounce. Ha! That's what she gets for trying to Jesusify me!

I had an awful dream last night. A man was trying to kill me and my daughter. He kept following me and stalking me, so I stabbed him several times all over. Oh! And once in the face!

"Working" on a paper.

2006-04-22T19:25:51Z

I hate writing papers on beautiful days, but with the upcoming week looking like a busy one this seems like the best way to go. I'm totally bullshitting though, and it's sort of entertaining.

In other news, I officially hate Little 500. The whole thing is just an excuse for people to be stupid and drink, which I don't think is out of the ordinary for many of them. So what's so special? You've got me. I've turned into an old man who likes his sleep and likes for tons of people not to yell "fuck you" while he is walking down the street and minding his own business. I did, however, speak on the phone this morning with a drunk Arjun who was hilarious. I had loads of laughs.

I'm feeling very good today. I woke up and cooked Joel breakfast on account of his not feeling so well. The window being open last night really upset his arthritis and he could barely move. I think he's better now. He's in the dark room finishing up his photography project. It's sad that we're too busy to really enjoy such wonderful weather.

Later? I'll be going to see Trans America. Thanks for asking.

"हमें परिमित निराशा को स्वीकार करना चाहिए, लेकिन अपरिमित आशा को कभी नहीं खोना चाहिए।"

2006-04-20T15:52:52Z

Oh Hindi. Such a love/hate relationship we have!

Feeling so bastardly...

2006-04-18T13:39:52Z

My oh my.

I feel like a bastard. I've become so unbelievably out of touch with old friends, which is such a horrible thing. I was looking forward to seeing people over the summer, but it doesn't look like much of that will be going down. I've just been so wrapped up in my own life and my own pursuits lately that I have ignored those who mean very much to me. It's not a good feeling, and I'm sick with myself. I'm beginning to realize that, as I age, keeping in touch with people is becoming more of an effort. I suppose it's just me getting used to the fact that being close to people in a physical sense (i.e. Patrick who lives in the same box as me) isn't enough, there has to be some maintenance going on as well. I seriously feel awful.

Happy birthday, again, Pat.

Coincidence?

2006-04-11T13:17:46Z

July 31 (my birthday), 1973 - A Delta Air Lines jetliner crashes while landing in fog at Logan Airport, Boston, Massachusetts killing 89.

...

2006-04-10T15:49:41Z

The past week or so has been very fast-flying. I went to the doctor last week to resolve my earlier-stated problem. I now am on a prescription, which is rather helpful, but I find it to be a little sketchy. All in all, though, I'd say I'm better than okay. Joel has noticed an improvement, and I suppose that's good enough for me. Other than that, home was boring. I find solace in that boredom though, for I always can know what to expect when returning to my old stomping-ground.
Joel's sister, Anahi, visited all of last week as a result of her being on spring break. She's a nice girl, and quite like her brother. I think we get along well. Joel and I showed her a good time, I think.
Friday evening I drove to Ft. Wayne with Joel to take Anahi home. Joel's mother fixed us loads of food (yummm). The next morning Joel and I made our pilgrimage to H&M. Alas, I bought nothing. Upon our return to Bloomington, Joel and I went to the hot lights studio so that he could work on his photography project. After an hour or two we decided to do something spontaneous, so we went to get tattoos. The result?

I am pleased.

gone_for_miles @ 2006-03-17T14:15:00

2006-03-17T19:16:49Z

"अनुच्छेद 1—सभी मनुष्यों को गौरव और अधिकारों के मामले में जन्मजात स्वतन्त्रता प्राप्त है । उन्हें बुद्धि और अन्तरात्मा की देन प्राप्त है और परस्पर उन्हें भाईचारे के भाव से बर्ताव करना चाहिये ।"

"All human-beings to dignity and rights of matter in from-birth freedom acquired is. Them reason and conscience of endowment acquired is and among them brotherhood of spirit with behavior do should."

I like to look at Hindi. I think it is so pretty.

*A sample text in High Hindi, of the Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

There and back (I realize I am freakishly tall)...हिन्दी

2006-03-17T19:13:08Z

I arrived in Bloomington at eleven this morning after a whirlwind of excitement brought on by my recent trip to Santa Claus. I am still recovering. Fort Wayne was fun. Joel's family is always wonderful, but Santa Claus made me nervous as hell. I never realized how awkward it could be talking to people I've known for most of my life after only about a year. I was freaked out by the fact that I've become sort of avoidant. Talking to people never peeved me as it seems to now. I also realized how freakishly tall I was when I stood in a crowd at the school play I attended. I could see the top of everyone's head. Also, my grandparents may know now that I am the homo-gay. I don't mind.

*Sadly, I did not get to see some people I wanted to. Even more sadly, I saw some people I didn't want to.

*Denny's was fun.

Joel and I signed our lease this morning. It feels nice to be doing adult-ish things. I actually have some money, too. It's nice not to have to worry so much about such things.

I am switching my focus a bit in school. I think I am going to try and aim toward graphic design. Possibly in the music industry. That seems fun, and less likely to land me in the poorhouse. My concern now, though, is not to fail Hindi. Hindi bahut difficult hai. We'll see how that goes.

Update!

2006-03-08T18:56:31Z

As most of you well know, I have succumbed to the great force of conformity and have received a job at Hollister Co. The fact of the matter is, non-conformity only stretches as far as your wallet will allow. Plus, I think the whole idea of it is a silly joke anyway. I have also decided, along with Joel, to journey back to the homeland this summer and work a bit at Holiday World. The two of us decided this last night when figuring up rent and other bills for the following semester. The fact of the matter is that the money is just too good to pass up. So, despite how horrid Holiday World can be, it should be a bit less horrid with Joel by my side.

Speaking of rent! Joel and I went to look at a potential apartment for next semester at College Mall Apartments. The one we looked at was perfect. I want it. Everything about it is so delightfully seventies, right down to the orangeish-brown stove. I can't wait.

As for now, it is raining. Hard.

...and so I must

2006-03-01T18:26:22Z

1. Patrick
2. Joel
3. Ian
4. Seth
5. Mallory
6. Tracy
7. Emily M.
8. Emily G.
9. Emily B-C.
10. Burke
11. Elizabeth
12. Whitney
13. Jacki
14. Erin E.
15. Erin L-H.
16. Adam
17. Arjun
18. Stephanie
19. Nicholas Alexander
20. Edgar
21. Leah

How did you meet 10? She took away my best friend. Wench.

What would you do if you had never met 6? I probably would drink a lot less boxed-wine and have made out with one less girl.

What would you do if 5 just confessed they liked you? Get up on that bitch, hard.

Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with number 3? Never have any quiet time.

What would you do if 20 and 15 dated? Accuse Erin of adultery.

Have you ever seen 4 cry? If I have I do not recall it.

Would 4 and 12 make a good couple? It could work.

Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple? No, as I would have to kill Patrick--maybe even Joel.

Describe 8: She's a cool girl. I do wish we talked more, considering previous relations.

Do you like 12? Yes. Muchly.

Do you think 21 is attractive? Hot sex. Yummmm. Yeah!

Tell me something about 17. He's a good guy, from Oman, and would make a great homosexual. He's also very shy.

What's 7's favorite color? Something girly. Pink, likely.

When was the last time you talked to number 19? He's in this very room. Now, more or less.

What language does 13 speak? English, as well as Spanish.

Who is 2 going out with? Yours truly.

What grade is 16 in? Not currently in a grade. I think.

Would you ever date 7? I used to have a crush on her, but probably not anymore.

Would you ever date 1? He is good with his hands...

Is 11 single? Nope.

What is 10s last name? Denning.

Where does 18 live? Too close. Harrrrrrr.

What do you think about 20? He is a good man. He lets me stay at his apartment every night.

What is the best thing about 4? He isn't too full of himself, despite super-human strength.

What would you like to tell 1 right now? "I'm not wearing any panties."

Tell me about 9? She hilarious without much effort. She bought me Indian food once.

What is the best and worst thing about 2? He is warm and loving, but he has a quick temper and can be unforgiving.

Are you going to know 15 forever? Hopefully.

Okay...I've caught it now.

2006-02-28T14:30:27Z

Oh please do this, friends.

http://kevan.org/johari?view=Nagol+Lerbis

http://kevan.org/nohari?view=Nagol+Lerbis

gone_for_miles @ 2006-02-21T09:43:00

2006-02-21T16:42:44Z

1. What color are your kitchen plates?
One is green. The other blue.

2. What book are you reading now?
Not much of interest

3. What is on your mouse pad?
support.dell.com

4. Favorite board game?
Taboo, Trivial Pursuit, Scategories, Pictionary

5. Least favorite smells?
Feet, rotting flesh, bathroom smells.

6. What is the first thing you think of in the morning?
How much more sleep would feel nice.

7. Favorite colour:
Goldenrod.

8. Least favorite color:
Anything neon.

9. How many rings until you answer the phone?
One or two.

10. Future Child's Name:
Diego, Sophia, Tenoch...I dunno

11. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Vanilla. Lately anyway.

12. Do you like to drive fast?
Not especially.

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Just a Joel.

14. Do you like thunderstorms?
Indeed.

15. What was your first car?
'99 Ford Contour (white).

16. What is your sign?
Leo.

17. Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Yes.

18. If you could have any job what would it be?
Freelance artist, marriage counselor, professional freeloader.

19. If you could have any colour hair what would it be?
Black.

20. Is the glass half full or half empty?
Both, yes.

21. What is your favorite movie?
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

22. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?
Probably not.

23. What's under your bed?
Patrick, usually.

24. What is your favorite number?
8.

25. Favorite sports to watch?
Soccer, swimming, figure skating...

26. Your single biggest intense pain?
Having my fingernails scratch across carpet or some equally awful surface.

27. Person most likely to respond?
Huh?

28. Person you sent this to who is least likely to respond?
I don't get it...

29. Ketchup or mustard?
Catsup.

31. Hamburger or hot dog?
Hamburger.

32. Favorite season?
Fall.

33. The best place you have ever been?
New York City.

34. What is your screen saver?
A photo slideshow.

35. What is your favorite fast food place?
Fazoli's.

36. What is your favorite breed of Dog?
Shihtzu (not really).

37. Your nicknames?
Logan, Loagie, Lodge, Puju, and the list goes on.

38. Have you ever been kissed by the opposite gender?
Yeah. Freaky-style.

39. What annoys you the most?
Extreme conservatives and most Collins residents.

40. What's your crush's name?
Joel Enrique Hernandez Arriaga

41. What's your best friend's name?
Patrick Joel-Ian-Mallory-Seth-Erin...[insert more names] Padmanabhan.

42. Which celebrity annoys you the most?
Hillary Duff, and some other people.

43. What type of music do you dislike the most?
Contemporary country, new age shit, Kenny G.

45. What is currently on your wrist?
Nothing.

46. Okay, if you and one other person could be alone on the entire planet, who would you choose?
Joel.

47. Who would you make out with right now?
Joel. Or Bea Arthur.

48. What's one fear you have and one fear you don't?
Have: Death by suffocation.
Don't have: Heights.

49: What is your favorite cartoon?
The Simpsons.

50. If you could be anywhere in the World at this very moment, where would you be?
Southern India.

51. How many stuffed animals do you have?
Only the fifteen that currently reside atop my bed. Tee hee.

52. How many times a day do you fart?
3-ish? How silly!

53. How many places (worldwide) have you visited?
Only Canada. I don't think that counts. You don't even need a passport.

54. If you had to cut off one body part, which would it be?
My left ass cheek, as it would make more space for my wallet.

55. What do you think about your own art?
It's better than everyone else's.

56. What keeps you sane?
Friends, Joel, art, music, touch, etc.

57. How do you want to die?
I want something like a freak accident...like a for a satellite to land on my head and explode glitter onto all bystanders.

58. What are your opinions about death?
Sometimes it seems daunting and scary, and other times it seems too far off.

59. What do you truthfully think about Saki?
This is a dumb question. Furthermore, it's spelled "sake".

60. If you could meet Cole, what would you do?
Again, dumb.

61. If you were bi/gay who would be your gay lover?
Joel. Bea Arthur.

62. If you had the option of getting 1 million dollars in exchange for never seeing anyone you loved again, would you take the money or stick with your friends/family/loved-ones?
No.

63. What do Scots wear under their kilts?
Hottness.

64. What's your most overused word?
"Fuck".

65. Would you exchange half your remaining life to attain wings?
How much time do I have with these wings? Not if it was only five minutes or something stupid

66. Who do you look up to when your down, blue, depressed, upset (whatever)?
Joel, Pat, Erin, Jacki, Seth...more

67. If you could see ghosts would you want to?
Yeah. And I'd tell everyone.

68. Do you suffer from insomnia?
No. More like narcolepsy.

69. Which of your relatives do you most admire?
My late Great-Grandmother.

70. Do you like doing surveys/questionnaires?
Not until I consider the alternative--actually doing something productive.

...

2006-02-16T14:55:06Z

All,

Valentine's Day was lovely. Mr. Joel came to campus with me very early and kept saying "CHECK YOUR MAIL!!!" So I checked my mail. I'd received some lovely flowers and an enormous balloon which kept smacking me in the face and a card containing the nicest message anyone has ever written me. Then, Joel told me to check my e-mail, and there was nothing there. Next, I was instructed to check the IDS (the IU student-run paper), in which there was a message from Joel reading,

Logan,
I never thought I'd say
I've found the one.
I love you.

Joel Hernandez

It was perfect.

Much Love,
Logan

Oh, and you must check these two websites!!!
1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oCTkwpSgnY&search=kore%20an%20tv%20show%20
2. http://www.winterrowd.com/maze1.swf

"El frio de mi cuerpo pregunta por ti..."

2006-01-30T16:42:32Z

English class this morning was aggravating. This boy who sits next to me, who happens to be a total and complete douche bag, was saying all this shit about the culture of the Middle East. He is very obviously not very educated when it comes to the region, and so his comments about the Middle East being "evil" were not from a place which I should take so seriously. Still, he pissed me off. Very much so.

This weekend was all a blur. Even still, I had a lot of fun. Joel, Arjun, Kim, and myself attended the "Pride" film festival and all the events that that sort of thing entails. There was a dance as well, which was a blast. It was nice to be able to be affectionate with Joel without wondering and worrying about who'll see. It was very good times. We also went to a movie about lesbian tantric sex, which was positively horrifying. Enough said.

I'm realizing that I am way behind on reading. I spent a good four hours, yesterday, reading my assignment in Doomsday Book, which was absolutely grueling. Yuck.

Joel is not feeling well today. He was puking all last night. I am worried for him. I thought chicken soup might be nice for him today, but who knows if that sort of thing will stay down. This illness has made a swift attack, and I really only found out about it this morning, so I am still finding out the extent of its severity. Eek!

Goodbye for now, friends.

"...tonto, tonto, tonto..."

2006-01-21T19:30:44Z

1. Saturday. La, la, la.

2. I just finished a lovely meal at the Mediterranean restaurant with Edgar and Joel. It was so good. I
may be going back tonight to see belly dancers. Good times.

3. Homework is shit, which is why I am avoiding it. Fuck academics. For now, anyway.

4. I can be an asshole when I want to, so I've found (also sometimes against my will).

5. I applied, yesterday, for a job at Borders.